I FEEL SICK AS STUFF. HEAD FEELS LIKE IT'LL BLEED OUT MY RIGHT EAR. TINNITUS MAKES ME HONE DEEPLY UPON THAT. NAUSEA IS IN WAVES. HOT NOT. COLD, YES. EYES, SHIT THEY ACHE AND ACHE. I WANT TO FIGHT IT WITH EVERYTHING I GOT BUT INSTEAD IM WEAK ENOUGH TO MAKE SMARTER DECISION OF JUST STAYING IN BED. THIS DOES NOT HELP WITH NAUSEA. ASPRIN AND IBUPROFEN DOES NOT HELP AT ALL. MATTER OF FACT, IM THINKING IT MAKES MATTERS WORSE TAKING IT WITH HOPE AGAINST HOPE, WASTING ENERGY SAYING I CAN DO THIS OR THAT, AND DOING THIS OR THAT TILL I JUST DIE WHEN SUMMONED AND GET LOVED ON. ITS TOO MUCH PAIN. 
LET ME GET THROUGH THIS. DAD TOLD ME HE BROUGHT A PUP HOME THAT GOT EATEN HALF TO DEATH BY HIS OTHER DOGS. BROUGHT TWO OF MY FRIENDS IN TO HELP CLEAN UP BLOOD AND RELIEVE HIM OF THE PUP. NOW HES CALLING ME ASKING FOR HELP. I CANT HANDLE THIS SITUATION. THE DOG HAS LOST HER FRONT RIGHT LEG. THE BLOODSHED IS TOO MUCH. I HAVE TO SHUT IT ALL OUT. CLOSE MY EYES AND CLEAR THE MIND. MAYBE LISTEN TO MUSIC. I DONT KNOW. I FEEL LIKE SHIT.. NIGHTMEARS ARE ON THE PROWL. DEATH CALLED AND BEAUTIFFULLY INVITED ME TO CARESS A LIONESS WITH CURLY HAIR AND A SVELT COOING PURR AND GROWL BUT INVITING ROLL TO ITS BACK, ITS HEAD ON MOTHERS LAP EYES SHUT AS IF TO SAY THIS FEELS GRAND, MORE PLEASE. DEAD DOG DREAMS, WEIRD PORPOISES WITH TINY ELEPHANT LEGS IN AN EXTRAVAGANT POOL AT AN EXTRAVAGANT HOME WITHOUT MY ABILITY TO SEE LIVE PEOPLE BUT ABOLITY TO HEAR THEM AND TO HEAR THEM SAYING THEY JUST CANT SEE THIS DOG I PREVIOUSLY PUT TO FOREVER SLEEP, HERE IN FRONT OF US, ALIVE AND WELL IN THE POOLALONGSIDE THE STRANGE PORPOISE WITH TINY ELEPHANT FEET. AND RECENTLY, IVE NOTICED A CURIOUS THING. SOMETHING THAT HASNT HAPPENED IN A WHILE. TWO THINGS, ACTUALLY. FIRST IS FEAR. SECOND IS THE SYMPTOM. ACCELERATED HEART RATE. OH, AND THREE. BUTTERFLYS IN THE STOMACHE. BUT THIS HEADACHE. ITS SO UNBEARABLE. I DONT KNOW HOW TO LIVE WITH IT. IF I STILL FEEL THIS WAY TOMORROW, I WILL SEE A DOCTOR.